stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
