He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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