the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
