No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My bed smells like the plague
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
