i just wanna soil my oats bro
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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