Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
