Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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