she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
