I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
