Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
