I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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