ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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