I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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