At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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