You're completely useless in the revolution.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
