Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
