last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
