Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
