Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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