you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
