I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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