Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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