shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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