I don't usually arrange sex via text message
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
