OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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