I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i think my cat just said my name.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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