Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My life is pants optional.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
