nut hugger
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
