Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
