Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
