2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have fence marks all over my body
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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