Christians are straight up FREAKS
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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