Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
