I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I got inside last night via doggy door
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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