God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
