Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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