My friends, they love my intelligence
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
