i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
