i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
now i know why i became what i already was.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
