My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
