She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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