Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
