I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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