Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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(516): View more from New York

She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.

Fav 14 3682 1008
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(631): View more from New York

i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.

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(613): View more from Ontario

you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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(330): View more from Ohio

She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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(206): View more from Washington

Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"

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(775): View more from Nevada

She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"

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