Non-Jews are for practice
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your cock deserves a montage
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
