we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
