your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
