i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
