best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
