let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize