Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
