i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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