Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
