I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
