I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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