I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
