WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
jump out the window naked night went bad
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