So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
