im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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